


How to get Mondo Oowada in a Skirt

by ChibiBreeby



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Boys in Skirts, Crack, First post on AO3 and it's a crack fic, Leon and Hiro being a thing is mentioned sligtly?, M/M, The Ishimondo is hinted, What are Tags?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-08-12
Packaged: 2018-07-10 14:12:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6988201
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChibiBreeby/pseuds/ChibiBreeby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After losing a bet, Mondo is stuck in one of the most humiliating situations in his life. He was going to kill Leon one of these days.</p><p>Now with a prequel!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sup people! So this entire mess was born after listening to The Lumberjack Song from Monty Python's Flying Circus, and I couldn't get the idea of Mondo singing this with his gang out of my head, and then this formed. Also it helped that it was past midight and I was reading many Ishimondo fics. 
> 
> Sorry if this is out of character and if it offends or something.

Mondo was growling. He was furious and extremely embarrassed. Why wouldn’t he be? Here he was in the hallway outside of the cafeteria, about to walk out in the school uniform...the GIRLS uniform, and high heels. Fucking stupid Kuwata…

So how did Mondo Owada, leader of the notorious biker gang “The Crazy Diamonds” wind up in a tight fitting, overly girly school uniform and high heels? It all started with a stupid bet he had made with Leon Kuwata, the Ultimate Baseball Star. Thinking back on it now, he felt that the bet had been rigged slightly. Afterall, his boyfriend was the Ultimate Clairvoyant, Yasuhiro Hagakure. He could have told him the answer about who would win the stupid school race. Yes, they had bet on the school race. Mondo had placed his bets on Asahina Aoi, while Kuwata had bet on Mukuro Ikusaba. Hina had been close, but her speed was more dominant in the water than on land, so Mukuro had beat her hands down. So now here he was.

“Fuck this, I’m not doin this shit.” Mondo ground out, turning around to go put his regular clothes back on, but Leon stopped him. “Oh no you don’t, we had a deal. It’s either this or that one text you accidentally sent me will get sent to the person it was supposed to be sent to.” Mondo scowled at Leon, but stood down. As much as he wanted to beat Kuwata’s face in, the lesser of two evils was to suck up his pride and go out there and look like a fucking idiot. He was NOT about to let that text message to sent. No way in hell.

“Fine, let’s get this nightmare over with then.” Mondo said.

Standing in front of the door, the biker took one last breath, and shoved the door open with incredible force. Since Kuwata had at least a single shred of good in his heart, Mondo only had to wear the stupid outfit until the end of lunch. 

His classmates reactions were priceless, and Mondo could hear Leon’s cackles from behind him. Asahina had turned completely scarlet and hid her face into Sakura’s arm, who just shook her head at him, whether in disgust or pity he wasn’t sure, he was moving too quickly to tell. Continuing shakily, he saw (and heard) Junko Enoshima bust her gut laughing too hard while her sister was pointedly staring out the window, her face a shade of pink.

Celestia Ludenberg made a disgusted face, and dumped her Milk Tea onto Yamada Hifumi’s head when he made a comment about a new doujin idea. Mondo felt a shiver go down his spine, and he wasn’t too sure it was because of the stupidly short skirt.

The asshat Byakuya Togami and his creepy stalker Toko Fukawa were the next two to see Mondo in his glorious outfit. Byakuya had made a snide comment about standards or some shit, Mondo didn’t currently care, and Toko had the creepiest fucking look that made Mondo try and walk even faster in these death contraptions on his feet. (How the fuck do women wear these things he was sure his feet had to be broken or something?!).

Finally, at the last table, was Sayaka Maizono, Kyoko Kirigiri, Naegi Makoto, and Chihiro Fujisaki. Makoto had spit out his drink in shock, and that’s what made the girls turn around. Sayaka immediately brought her hands up to her tomato colored face (was that blood he saw dripping?!), Chihiro gave him a once over and began to giggle, and Kirigiri just smirked at him, and continued writing in her journal.

Mondo finally made his way to the table where Yasuhiro sat, and sat down in pain. Leon sat down next to Yashiro looking smug as all hell, and Yasuhiro tried to eat his food, but failed due to the distraction in front of him.

“You dumbasses better be happy, cause this ain’t happening ever again.” Mondo said, and Leon only laughed again.

“Dude, at least you look good in drag. I’d do ya if I wasn’t currently taken.” Hiro said, and Leon punched his arm. Mondo felt like he was going to vomit.

“Don’t even play like that Hiro, besides we both know who Mondo really wants to see him like this.” Leon said, and Mondo swiftly kicked him from under the table, earning a yelp from the Baseball star.

“Speaking of which, where is the Hall Monitor anyway? Shouldn’t he be yelling at you about your clothes by now?” Hiro questioned, which made Mondo pause in his kicking war against Leon. Hiro had a point, where was his Kyoudai?

“That’s weird, I coulda sworn I saw him at the front of the cafeteria when you first strutted in.” Leon responded, and Mondo turned back around to see if he had missed Kiyotaka during his embarrassing strut down the walkway. Scanning the far end of the room, Mondo spotted a pair of boots laying sideways next to one of the tables. Travelling up the boots, he saw that they were attached to a pair of white clad legs, which were attached to a medaled torso…

“TAKA?!” Throwing off the mini hells on his feet, Mondo ran back towards the front of the cafeteria, Leon and Hiro following him (and trying not to look at Mondo who was unintentionally flashing them), and looked around the table to see Kiyotaka Ishimaru passed out on the floor, his food having fallen on his sides. His face had turned white and there was blood dripping down from his nose.  
_____________________________________________


	2. How Leon Kuwata got Mondo Oowada in a skirt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a prequel to the first chapter. It's short and silly, and since I haven't had to time write anything for the Bikers Doll, have this in its place.  
> (I am still writing that! I promise! Work has gotten crazy due to many managers going on vacation, so ugh).

Mondo stumbled into his bedroom with a hiccup, staggering slightly as he wandered over to his bed. He had just gotten home from a gang meeting, and he was drunk off his ass. It was a celebration for one of his boy’s birthday, as well as a congrats for winning over the girl he’d been trying to date,so there was lots of fun times, and lots of booze. So of course, as the leader, he drank to his heart's content. So here he was now, laying face first on his bed after a night of partying with his boys. He was happy for his friend, who was feeling like a king with his new girlfriend, and she wasn’t a whiny thing either. It had taken a lot of guts for his friend to ask his girl out, and the result was a happy one. Thinking about it, Mondo suddenly felt inspired. If one of his crew could ask out his crush, why couldn’t he?

Perhaps it was drunken courage, or some sort of new determination, but Mondo sat up, and after rummaging clumsily through his coat pockets, pulled out his phone. Scrolling through his contacts, he found the one labeled “Kyoudai” and began to text a long message. 

After finishing off his message, before he lost his nerve, Mondo hit the send button, and collapsed backwards, passing out with a blissful smile on his face.

() () () () ()

The next morning was unwaveringly bright, and Mondo groaned in pain. His head was pounding, and his stomach felt sick. What the hell happened last night? Mulling it over in his head, he remembered the party that had gone on until late in the night, he remembered driving home, he remembered walking into the side table before going upstairs, and flopping onto his bed. He also remembered he had been thinking about Kiyotaka...and…

Mondo sat up, ignoring the spinning in his head. Shit! The biker leader grabbed his phone and quickly went to his text messages for Kiyotaka, praying he hadn’t actually sent a confession message. After seeing that, no, he hadn’t sent Kiyotaka an embarrassing message, he sighed in relief. At least that was one thing he didn’t have to worry about. Getting out of bed, Mondo then began to get ready for school. He would normally skip, but he knew he had a test today, and that his Kyoudai would not be pleased if he missed it.

() () () () () 

“Yo! Mondo! Got a minute, I got something to ask you.” Mondo rolled his eyes as Leon strolled over to him with this weird ass strut. Was he attempting to look cool?

“Whaddya want Kuwata?” 

“Hey now, that’s no way to talk to a guy you admire so much.”

“The hell are you ramblin’ on ‘bout?”

“What? You mean you don’t remember? Aww, and you were so sweet too, saying how pretty my eyes were and shit.” Leon chuckled, and Mondo glared at Leon in annoyed confusion.

“The fuck are you on Kuwata?”

“So you really don’t remember? You sent me this long ass text message last night, and it was a mess to figure out, but damn, I didn’t think you’d be able to write so much sap in one message.” Leon laughed, and Mondo was about ready to punch Leon in the face before he felt his stomach drop.

“Although, I don’t think it was meant for me, because I certainly don’t have ‘ruby red eyes’ or ‘funtastic long eyebrows’, whatever the hell that means.” Mondo felt his face fire up. He pulled out his phone and double checked his sent messages. It was there that he realized that, _yes_ , he had sent out a long confession message, but in his drunken state instead of hitting ‘Kyoudai’ he had hit ‘Kuwata’ instead. Fuck!

“Hey man, relax, I won’t tell the Hall Monitor, and hey, if you want, I’ll help ya win him over!” Kuwata said, putting a hand on Mondo’s shoulder and flashing him a large smile, but it quickly disappeared when Mondo grabbed him and slammed him against the lockers.

“You better not tell nobody, cuz if I find out ya did, I’ll be draggin’ ya down the road with my bike.” Mondo growled, and Leon shook his head shakily.

“Nah man, w-wouldn’t dream of it.” Leon choked out as Mondo dropped him. “Although I don’t know what you’re so worried about. Pretty damn sure Ishimaru feels the same way.”

Mondo shook his head. “Like hell he does! He’s like, immune to romance an’ shit like that. I would know since I’m his best bro.” Leon had to hold back an eye roll. Oowada was really freaking dense apparently, but he wouldn’t dare call him that to his face.

“Well then, if you’re so sure, how about we see if you’re right.” Leon smirked as ideas formed in his head.

“There is no way I’m trusting you with your fucked up head Kuwata. You’re plans usually suck anyway and I’m not risking my friendship with Kiyotaka on one of them.”

“Fine fine, then you wouldn’t mind if I just send that wonderful message of yours to him.”

“NO! Kuwata I swear to god-”

“Fine then, how about a bet?” Leon leaned against the lockers next to them and pointed a finger at himself. “If I win, you have to do one of my amazing plans in an attempt to win Ishimaru over, and if you win, then I’ll drop the subject entirely.” Mondo glared suspiciously at the Ultimate Baseball Star.

“And if I say no?”

“Then Ishimaru will know just exactly how you feel about his ‘curvacious ass...ets’” A smirk danced across Leon’s face as a curtain of red spread across Mondo’s face in anger and embarrassment. A moment of silence as the biker mulled it over internally, then…

“Fine, what do you have in mind?”


End file.
